Crayons for the real world

What’s with crayons being introduced with such sissy colour names? I mean as an adult (!) I want to choose colours that actually represent what I’m colouring and it doesn’t usually consist of a blue sky, green grass and a red house as it might have many years ago.

These days we use crayons to draw our feelings towards our day, mocking a co-worker or just pounding those things into the walls – whichever takes your fancy. I find that in these scenarios we need colours that really reflect this. That and “wild watermelon” doesn’t really have any relevance to most peoples’ everyday life – unless you, dear reader, often find yourself alone with a watermelon and the presence of many whips and handcuffs... well that’s your business...

...aaaannnnyway...I have taken some colours from the more original 130 (not the added on extras like the swirly crayons or the glitter ones – that would be too easy) and renamed them for your grown-up pleasure.

Antique Brass (205, 149, 117) – An evening with the toilet

 Beaver (159, 129, 112) – No seriously... that's what it's called... I don't think it needs changing

Brick Red (203, 65, 84) – Paper Cut

Cadet Blue (176, 183, 198) – Unemployment

Copper (221, 148, 117) – Immovable stain on white shirt

Dandelion (253, 219, 109) – Stomach Bile

Granny Smith Apple (168, 228, 160) – Mucus

Hot Magenta (255, 29, 206) – Regrettable lipstick choice

Inchworm (178, 236, 93) – Why can’t I look like her?!

Laser Lemon (254, 254, 34) – Too much Asparagus/Dehydrated

Manatee (151, 154, 170) – Crap Weather

Mango Tango (255, 130, 67) – Fake Tan

Outer Space (65, 74, 76) – Migratory mascara

Periwinkle (197, 208, 230) – Old Lady Do

Radical Red (255, 73, 108) – My boss needs to die

Raw Umber (113, 75, 35) – Beer O' Clock

Scarlet (252, 40, 71) – Bad Day

Spring Green (236, 234, 190) – Forgotten Milk

Tumbleweed (222, 170, 136) – Deforestation

Unmellow Yellow (255, 255, 102) – Peroxide Mishap

White (255, 255, 255) – Everything Mac

Wild Strawberry (255, 67, 164) – Funeral Faux Pas

Wild Watermelon (252, 108, 133) – Acne