So this is kind of a rehash on a previous blog but I feel there is more to be said on the topic of music videos.
We all know they are a sleazy display of the alcohol fuelled, skantily clad youth of today but there is more to it than that now. It's not just sleazy because there are cleavages, various asses and thrusting hip motions dominating the screens but more because of the obvious product placement. It is so rare to see a film clip that doesn't have a zoomed-in image of a car symbol, alcohol label, clothing brand or some other gaudy and over priced unnecessary piece of garbage.
Somehow, recently, I was watching the "Top 30 Countdown" of popular and current music - for the sake of my reputation (!) let's say I was shackled to the chair and my eyes were forced open "Clockwork Orange" style. Anyway I was subjected to the gyrating flesh fest that is contemporary pop and noticed that in the top five most popular songs of the week, three of them had obvious product placement for mini coopers. The cooper establishment must be suffering if they need to have some random singers mating in the back seat. This boggles my mind as I had always thought mini coopers would make any type of courting ritual rather difficult in the back seat given that they are about the size of a tuna can.
Soon the lyrics of the songs will become the tag lines of the products and it will be like "Sha la la la Oh baby I love the way you buy me the products I need. Git out ma Nike hat - the hat that fits better than most and drivin' ma pimped out mini cooper - the ride that bounces, swoops and goes like the wind - vroom vroom, baby yeah". Catchy, huh?
Showing posts with label ads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ads. Show all posts
Friday, 25 November 2011
Wednesday, 9 November 2011
Celebrity Chefs
Why is it that everything now needs a celebrity chef to endorse it? When all this shenanigans started it was tolerable and it made sense to some extent. Celebrity chefs that we had a vague idea of would bang on and on about how good this certain product was. It started out as food products. Nigella Lawson sensually enunciates her way through a tea commercial whilst Curtis Stone is fondling the fruit and veg (oo-err) in our local supermarket adverts.
Chefs who write cook books, have cooking shows and teach us how to cook now telling us the benefits of certain foods over others. It made sense.
Next we have some "celebrity chef" that I had never heard of pop up in a dominos pizza ad. And another with KFC. It seems odd to me that a chef, who understands the basics of food and their nutritional content, would decide to speak the so-called benefits of the new fatty sandwich or pizza. Or pizza sandwich. I guess everyone has their price. And the viewers have their conscience that tiny but clearer.
Next came a Hungry Jack's ad (it's like Burger King) which had a "gourmet chef recipe" for their latest burger. There was no actual chef... just the recipe. The whole chef element has been replaced. All I can imagine is a phantom chef somewhere in the seedy underground warehouse of Hungry Jack's being held in shackles and chains making fancy burger recipes every hour of the day in order to avoid another whipping.
Soon they'll be endorsing anything from tyres to underwear to sombreros to birth control. It's getting weird.
Eventually they will have stooped so low and been paid so much that I can imagine a big billboard with Gordon Ramsay or Jamie Oliver (one of the really big name celeb chefs who seem to care a lot about world issues) standing next to starving African children holding a glass of dirty water with the words "when I'm in poverty I only drink contaminated water. There is nothing else like it! Nothing at all!" and giving a cheesy grin. It's only a matter of time.
Chefs who write cook books, have cooking shows and teach us how to cook now telling us the benefits of certain foods over others. It made sense.
Next we have some "celebrity chef" that I had never heard of pop up in a dominos pizza ad. And another with KFC. It seems odd to me that a chef, who understands the basics of food and their nutritional content, would decide to speak the so-called benefits of the new fatty sandwich or pizza. Or pizza sandwich. I guess everyone has their price. And the viewers have their conscience that tiny but clearer.
Next came a Hungry Jack's ad (it's like Burger King) which had a "gourmet chef recipe" for their latest burger. There was no actual chef... just the recipe. The whole chef element has been replaced. All I can imagine is a phantom chef somewhere in the seedy underground warehouse of Hungry Jack's being held in shackles and chains making fancy burger recipes every hour of the day in order to avoid another whipping.
Soon they'll be endorsing anything from tyres to underwear to sombreros to birth control. It's getting weird.
Eventually they will have stooped so low and been paid so much that I can imagine a big billboard with Gordon Ramsay or Jamie Oliver (one of the really big name celeb chefs who seem to care a lot about world issues) standing next to starving African children holding a glass of dirty water with the words "when I'm in poverty I only drink contaminated water. There is nothing else like it! Nothing at all!" and giving a cheesy grin. It's only a matter of time.
Sunday, 2 October 2011
Coming Soon: Prequel IV the Sequel...
Why are all the old movies being remade now? I don’t get it. We’ve seen it. We don’t need to see it again. Unless you want to watch the original over and over and over again because you haven’t gone to the cinema in twenty years and the very thought of leaving your house at all terrifies the living snot out of you. Well that’s fair enough I suppose.
Everywhere I look I see trailers and ads for new films and tv shows that are
a) Sequels
b) Prequels
c) Spin offs
d) Re-makes
Can’t we come up with anything new? Seriously? These producers get a hold of ONE thing that is popular and then pound every little aspect of it in every way that they can to make more money. God forbid they sat down and WROTE something new. Look at Harry Potter and Star Wars! If I see anymore merchandise for these films I might choke someone with it and I don’t think asphyxiating on a lego Yoda would be a very dignified good way to die.
Most of the time the above genres are a complete total flop. I mean did anyone watch that “Joey” spin-off series after “Friends”? Or the latest “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie? No, I didn’t think so. JUST LET IT DIE.
Now they are re-making “Dirty Dancing” – why? The original is a classic. You can’t re-make a classic and expect to have the same box office results. That’s just stupid.
I have to say it’s pretty easy to come up with a concept – there are , after all, about a thousand different combinations of random stuff you can put together to get something new.
How about a single woman who needs to find a man whilst back-packing through Europe knowing full well that she has terminal cancer that can only be cured with true love and a climactic dance sequence?
Or a middle aged penguin that realises he hasn’t taken life by the balls and decides to move to London where he starts his own rap business only to realise the penguin chick of his dreams is actually his neighbour.
Seriously... given the crap that I see advertised this is pretty comparable.
Friday, 16 September 2011
Buzz Words
Have you ever noticed that decades of modern history are marked by fashion and music? You know how music channels do montages of the best hits of the 80s, 90s and so on and each clip stars the same hideous garb as the last? I can never sit through those... seeing monster shoulder pads alongside crimped hair more than once activates my gag reflex.
Anyway the point I'm trying to make is that I've realised that decades are not only defined by fashion mistakes and music, they are also noted for their buzz words. As in words that were really big at the time and whenever anyone says them in context now people stop, stare and judge. Like when I was watching "Fern Gully" recently and I came out with "that was a totally bodacious and tubular lunch". I'm pretty sure my audience are still sitting at the cafe staring at the space I use to be sitting in.
I've noticed in this day and age - as in NOW - people tend to use a whole bunch of buzz words in order to make sales. Recently, if an ad for any product comes on television or the radio or one of those annoying people that stand in the middle of the shopping centre going "Excuse me! Excuse me ma'am? Want to try this?" they use words that somehow make you feel like you are doing something good for yourself. Words like "minerals", "anti-oxidants", "organic", "free-range" and "herbal" just to mention a few. Nowadays if a product is selling itself to you and it doesn't have one of these words or something similar on it we don't care. We, the people, want to feel good about buying something that is that little bit more expensive (and it only is that little bit more expensive because of these words not because the product is actually going to deliver any of this promised jargon) so we get a little ego boost about how awesome we are for locating, finding and using the product. Think of how many people we can tell about the product we use.
"Oh Cindy I just bought the most FABULOUS hand moisturiser. It's made from 5000% organic anti-oxidants and with every bottle I've freed an Atlantic salmon from captivity."
"Okay. Cool. I just use the cheap stuff from the supermarket."
"I don't feel that using the 'cheap' stuff is contributing to our fast-paced globalised world and its living creatures."
"I didn't realise that fish were so heavily impacted by my choice of hand lotion."
"Oh they are, Cindy. They are."
..............................
"So, does it work?"
"Not really."
Buzz, buzz, buzz. If someone tells me about the benefits of anti-oxidants I want to then go ahead and ask them if they know what an anti-oxidant actually is - without googling it. We like to believe we are going that extra step to help something rather than just ourselves so the purchase won't make us feel too bad.
Now that we can identify these ad ploys we need to quickly get on board with the next big thing - what's some new buzz words we can throw around in the next ten years and make squillions of dollars? How about... a secret herb that is made only by Sha-Shark-Kan monks in the remote jungles of South America? Or... the never before known extract of a cumquat that will keep you looking good and quite fragrant forever...
Anyway the point I'm trying to make is that I've realised that decades are not only defined by fashion mistakes and music, they are also noted for their buzz words. As in words that were really big at the time and whenever anyone says them in context now people stop, stare and judge. Like when I was watching "Fern Gully" recently and I came out with "that was a totally bodacious and tubular lunch". I'm pretty sure my audience are still sitting at the cafe staring at the space I use to be sitting in.
I've noticed in this day and age - as in NOW - people tend to use a whole bunch of buzz words in order to make sales. Recently, if an ad for any product comes on television or the radio or one of those annoying people that stand in the middle of the shopping centre going "Excuse me! Excuse me ma'am? Want to try this?" they use words that somehow make you feel like you are doing something good for yourself. Words like "minerals", "anti-oxidants", "organic", "free-range" and "herbal" just to mention a few. Nowadays if a product is selling itself to you and it doesn't have one of these words or something similar on it we don't care. We, the people, want to feel good about buying something that is that little bit more expensive (and it only is that little bit more expensive because of these words not because the product is actually going to deliver any of this promised jargon) so we get a little ego boost about how awesome we are for locating, finding and using the product. Think of how many people we can tell about the product we use.
"Oh Cindy I just bought the most FABULOUS hand moisturiser. It's made from 5000% organic anti-oxidants and with every bottle I've freed an Atlantic salmon from captivity."
"Okay. Cool. I just use the cheap stuff from the supermarket."
"I don't feel that using the 'cheap' stuff is contributing to our fast-paced globalised world and its living creatures."
"I didn't realise that fish were so heavily impacted by my choice of hand lotion."
"Oh they are, Cindy. They are."
..............................
"So, does it work?"
"Not really."
Buzz, buzz, buzz. If someone tells me about the benefits of anti-oxidants I want to then go ahead and ask them if they know what an anti-oxidant actually is - without googling it. We like to believe we are going that extra step to help something rather than just ourselves so the purchase won't make us feel too bad.
Now that we can identify these ad ploys we need to quickly get on board with the next big thing - what's some new buzz words we can throw around in the next ten years and make squillions of dollars? How about... a secret herb that is made only by Sha-Shark-Kan monks in the remote jungles of South America? Or... the never before known extract of a cumquat that will keep you looking good and quite fragrant forever...
Friday, 17 June 2011
DVD Dilemma
I’m pretty sure most people have had the occasion where they’ve watched a trailer for a funny film, seen it and then remarked “they showed all the good bits in the ad”.
It sucks. Basically the film industry just snuck up behind you and pinched money from your wallet whilst one of their minions did an amusing dance to keep you from noticing.
I no longer go to the cinema. Not just because of the ad thing but because it is getting ridiculously expensive. I mean they are no longer just taking the cash from your wallet but your entire wallet including the photo of the Jonas Brothers hidden behind your licence (I know it’s there).A movie watching platform I haven’t yet given up on is the renting process. I go to my local DVD shop, choose a film and go home to watch it – nothing new or observant about that. The problem is once you put the DVD in and desperately attempt to skip the other ads and scare tactics against film piracy you reach the DVD menu. The DVD menu use to be a boring screen to merely alert you to the functions of the disc – play, extra features, set up and so on. DVD menus are now fully interactive with stuff happening all over so you get taken in and forget this is just another form of trailer ruining your viewing experience. If I haven’t seen a film before and the DVD menu comes on it does the exact same thing as a trailer would in that it shows all the decent bits and not even in a well edited version as the trailer would be but rather just the funny moments with no context and no narrating voice stating the obvious.
Why are they doing this? I get that they want the menu to represent the film but COME ON don’t ruin it for me! Someone that has seen the film over a dozen times can’t complain about the menus but if this is the premiere screening for that person then... GRRRRR! There are no words to describe. All I can say is that I’m not surprised people download movies... at least then you don’t have to endure the film being tarnished before it has even begun.
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