Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Why Going on a Job Interview is a lot like a Blind Date

-        You wish you didn’t have to go. You feel sick and regret ever making any move towards this moment but still have some slight glimmer of hope and possibility that this could all end well

-        You have no idea what you’re in for – it could be really relaxed, it could be uptight, you might have to do an unexpected test the minute you’ve walked in the door

-        You always overdress

-        You get asked stupid questions that seem like the other person is generally interested but actually it is just a ploy to silently judge all that you choose to say like “tell us a bit about yourself”. Where do you go with that? I doubt they want to hear about my chronic disorder that makes me want to stab people in the neck with a pencil. Is it a question about my personal values? Favourite Colour? WHAT?

-        You feign interest at everything the other person says often laughing really loudly to try and hide the fact that you didn't find it funny at all

-        You feel the need to escape to the bathroom every five minutes

-        The questions they ask force you to talk for an extended period of time as if a silence will kill both of you

-        You desperately want to check the time and how long this charade has gone on for but you manage to use all your willpower to avoid revealing how bored you actually are

-        You end up with a sore jaw after forcing yourself to constantly smile for so long in order to seem friendly

-        You lie A LOT

-        You always leave feeling that the whole event was terrible

-        You sigh a huge breath of relief when it’s all over and you can take of your stockings

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