Friday, 22 April 2011

Talking and Driving

Have you ever noticed when you are a passenger in a car having a conversation with the driver and they try to look at you throughout? Maintaining eye contact in a normal conversation is pretty standard form... this we know. But trying to do this whilst driving? It’s an odd conversation because they are either snapping their necks quickly back and forth to look at you when you are in the passenger seat or it is a weird spy/chauffeur type conversation with them flicking glances via the rear view mirror. Or it gets really weird and they try to turn their whole body toward you or just their head swivels around like in a horror film and they projectile vomit all over you—okay I’m getting carried away...
Basically there needs to be a loophole in social etiquette so that car conversations with mandatory eye contact don’t go like this...
“Yeah and then I said to him that it wasn’t on – ya know?”
“Oh I know. The fact that he could go and do that to you? After all you did for him.”
“It makes my blood boil! Who cheats on someone with their grandma? I can’t believe that—”
Enter oncoming truck. Bloody chaos ensues.
Mind you the situation doesn’t have to be that emotionally charged... it could go like this...
“Man I just love Doritos!”
“No way! I love Doritos!”
Laughter “That is so funny that we both love Doritos this much...”
“I know. I thought you were more of a Pringles kind a guy but—”
Enter oncoming bus. Bloody chaos ensues.
Or even this...
“Something beginning with ‘r’.”
“Red car?”
“It better not be ‘road’ again.”
“Hooray! You got it! You’re so smart... okay another one... Something beginning with ‘r’.”
Enter oncoming wildebeest. Bloody chaos ensues.
Okay I’m pretty sure that last one was an intentional crash.  
In order to prevent the previous scenarios playing out before your very eyes I don’t think there is anything wrong with putting a gentle hand on the driver’s arm and saying “it’s okay if you don’t look me in the eye while we converse. I understand how difficult it is to drive and be a good social citizen – it’ll be our little secret.” Hopefully the driver isn’t looking at you when you say that... otherwise it will have all been in vain...
The only other way of doing it is every time they try to look at you just scream “DON’T LOOK AT ME!! DON’T LOOK AT ME!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!”...
I can’t see any harm in that.  


  1. AAAAAHHHHHHH! Hahahaha, brilliant ending to a hiLARious post :)

  2. I Just had to write "plero" so that I could LOL at your post. Now I'll write some other security "word"... every moment's an adventure!